There’s a time and a place for certain conversations

A friend was telling me the other day about her experience in the bank. Standing in the queue she was feeling a bit fidgety as she had lots to do and wanted to get out of the bank as quickly as possible. The queue inched forward until there was just one person in front of her. The moment came when the gentleman in front was about to be served and at this precise moment his phone rang and he took the call.

He quickly became involved in a conversation, talking with a booming voice that could be heard by all. The call continued for several minutes with those around not sure what to do; should my friend jump ahead of him to the teller that was now free? Instead she waited patiently as the man chatted away. With baited breadth everyone waited for a signal that the call was coming to an end, instead the gentleman involved upped his volume and said to his phone friend – “What you mean you can’t pee?”

On the same day this happened I was out about in Sydney and overheard numerous conversations that made me realise that often we communicate in ways that suit us rather than the other person or people in the conversation. I think this happens in the workplace as well as in the bank.

Understanding what you want to achieve in any conversation is the starting point for working out the appropriate environment and time for your conversation to happen. Some people are particularly inclined to say things as they come in to their head to get things off their chest. Whilst this may work for them does it work for the recipients and is the information received in the way that’s intended?

It would seem that the person on the other end of the call wanted someone to listen and probably to be sympathetic. So how could the man in the bank have handled the conversation differently so he was able to do these things? In this case I think changing the time and the environment may have meant a better conversation taking place.

A conversation can only be truly successful if real listening takes place, finding the environment and time is a starting point for this to happen.

Applying the 5 languages of love in the workplace

Ok, so some of you may be asking yourselves what on earth the 5 languages of love can have to do with strengthening (PROFESSIONAL) relationships in the workplace. Without turning soft on you I’m going to argue that they can be translated in to the workplace and that they do make a difference to the quality of our relationships.

The 5 love languages – formed by Gary Chapman distinguish between the different ways people show and receive love. We tend to have a preferred language. In many cases they are the symbolic displays that show we love and are loved. So how can they be applied at work?